Why self-diagnosis as a neurodivergent person is not just valid but needed
I could keep this blog really short by saying…the route to get a diagnosis as a neurodivergent person is broken and that’s why we self-diagnose – full stop – mic drop – the end….
But I won’t – let’s dig a little deeper.
In recent years, more people have started to recognise the signs of ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia and other neurodevelopmental conditions in themselves. This may have led them to question whether they should get diagnosed but most of the time it’s allowed them space to start self-identifying.
If you haven’t seen here’s my first blog of the series about routes to get an ADHD Diagnosis.
In this blog, I’ll explore why self-diagnosis matters, the challenges it brings, and how to support yourself to thrive.
Why Do People Self-Diagnose?
Barriers to formal diagnosis are one of the most common reasons people choose to self-identify. Some of these include:
Long NHS wait time: wait times through the NHS can stretch up to 10 years. In some places in the UK, ADHD diagnosis routes have closed, and in other areas their lists are so large that they have openly admitted it would take a lifetime to see everyone.
Cost of Private Diagnosis: With prices ranging from £700–£1,500, private assessments are out of reach for many people.
Lack of continued care: People who have had or who are considering a private diagnosis have then not been able to get continued support through their GP surgery or to be able to access medication.
Finding reputable practices: There has been much debate in the media about practices that are ‘giving out’ a diagnosis without thorough processes and protocols
However, there are now some amazing resources and tools that are empowering people:
Increased Awareness: Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram have amplified neurodivergent voices, allowing people to resonate with others’ stories and see themselves in the traits being shared whether that be with ADHD, Autism or AuDHD.
Research and Reflection: Armed with the internet and ADHD communities, people are starting to piece together patterns in their own behaviour and lives.
This is what helped Siobhan F on her journey:
“I didn’t have an ADHD ‘aha’ moment. It was more of a slow, inevitable fade-in. In 2020, Janet Murray shared her diagnosis story, with a list of how her ADHD traits showed up. It was very far from my mistaken assumption that only boys had ADHD and it only looked a certain way: bouncing off the walls, fidgeting, getting into trouble at school, zoning out of conversations etc. Then, like so many others, I started seeing ADHD everywhere - not the stereotypical presentation; the nuances, the diversity of traits, the good, the bad and everything in between.”
For me, my journey to diagnosis was complicated and the ‘ADHD’ label was being questioned (more in my next blog). So, self-diagnosis began with connecting the dots between my experiences and what I was learning about ADHD online. Traits I’d brushed off as personality quirks suddenly made sense in the context of ADHD, especially when I learnt it presents differently in women.
The Challenges of Self-Diagnosis
Self-identifying with ADHD or being neurodivergent can be a powerful process, but it’s not without its challenges:
‘Everyone’s a little Autistic’
No Karen, they are not!
We are often made to feel that certain traits and characteristics should be overlooked which particularly can come from other people’s opinions and biases. This then aids us to believe that our experience is not valid.Comparing yourself to others
While there are many common traits to being ADHD, Autistic and neurodivergent it doesn’t mean you have to ‘have’ everything on the checklist. We can then question ourselves if we don’t relate to one trait but what we do know is everyone’s traits and brains are different.Fear of Dismissal
The fear of being dismissed by doctors, family, or even yourself can make the process feel invalidating. Many worry that without a formal diagnosis, their struggles won’t be taken seriously so self-identifying can feel even riskier.It’s just a trend!
With some having a viewpoint that it is now a trend for someone to be ADHD or Autistic, it can make self-identifying even harder. Not only are you contending with the realisation you may be neurodivergent (most of the time if you think this – you aren’t wrong!) but now you are thinking about what other people make think too! Leading to feelings of having to justify yourself even more.
Siobhan F continued to tell me:
“I went to my GP to ask for a referral because that's what society tells us to do. The medical model of ADHD as an 'illness' that requires a 'cure' means that we go straight to a medical professional. I am still on the waiting list!
However, I now realise I don't need one. I have ended up turning away from the medical model towards the neurodiversity model and now believe that I'm not broken, just different.”
For me, the fear of not being believed which I now know is heavily related to RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria – read my blog here) was overpowering. RSD isn’t just about actual rejection, it can be about perceived rejection too and can have intense physical and emotional responses.
It made me question myself, sadly, for years!
Questions like:
If it’s not ADHD, then what is it?
What’s wrong with me?
People will think I am lying and made it all up
The narrative that has been out there – ‘lazy’, ‘stupid’, ‘slow’, ‘too-much’ – is it all true?
All of these questions sadly lead us to believe it’s not real and therefore why would we want to self-identify?
Why Self-Diagnosis Is Valid
Self-identifying with ADHD, Autism, or being neurodivergent is a valid and valuable process. For those who’ve questioned themselves for years or been misdiagnosed, it can finally bring clarity and make sense of their struggles and differences.
Access to formal diagnosis can be difficult whether due to high costs, lengthy waiting lists, or scepticism from professionals. Self-diagnosis often becomes a crucial step towards understanding yourself when these barriers exist.
For many, self-diagnosis is a way to reclaim their narrative. It’s about more than just traits; it’s about finding self-worth, building confidence, and accepting who you are.
It provides a sense of belonging, connecting you to others who think and feel like you. Knowing that you’re not alone, that there are people who genuinely “get it,” is empowering.
It offers reassurance that there’s nothing wrong with you—your brain simply works differently.
Siobhan F summed this up beautifully by saying:
“There's nothing wrong with an ADHD brain - it just needs different support and conditions to thrive. The systems are broken, not us!”
Personally, taking the step to self-identify with ADHD helped me realise that my struggles weren’t just down to personal failings. It allowed me to acknowledge my needs, build better coping strategies, and advocate for myself. While a formal diagnosis has its benefits, recognising the signs and strengths in myself has been life-changing on its own.
How to support yourself further
If you are looking to support yourself further in self-identifying, then here are some ways that can help:
Educate Yourself
Dive into resources like ADHD UK, or ADHD Adult UK, listen to the experts and stick to evidence-based information wherever possible.Join Communities
Online groups and forums can provide connection and validation. One I highly recommend is NeuroBuzz and local ADHD support groups are excellent places to start. (Near Dorset? Then join me at my in-person community circle for neurodivergent business owners).Be Kind to Yourself
Self-diagnosis can bring clarity, but it’s also a process of unlearning years of self-criticism. Give yourself grace as you navigate your ADHD journey.Get support
Whether it be through talking to your GP, family, a therapist or a coach – having an amazing support system around you can help you process everything that’s going on.
To anyone on this journey: You are not broken. You’re simply navigating life with a brain that works differently, and that’s okay.
Keep exploring, keep learning, and most importantly, keep being you Unicorn!
The next blog will be about my journey around diagnosis. Ifyou want to be the first to hear then join my newsletter.
If you would like to book some time to chat, then you can book a cuppa catch-up with me here.
