What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and how does it affect neurodivergent business owners?
For neurodivergent business owners, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can be particularly challenging, impacting not only our professional lives but also our overall well-being.
In this blog, we’ll break down what RSD is, why it occurs, how it affects us in business and the strategies you can use to work through it.
What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria?
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a condition where individuals, especially Neurodivergent, experience extreme emotional reactions to perceived or actual rejection or criticism.
It’s more than just feeling hurt, RSD can cause overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety that can last for days or even weeks. Our emotional response is often amplified due to our brain wiring and executive functioning, making us more sensitive to negative feedback or perceived rejection.
Why Does RSD Happen?
Ok, here’s the science part! Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) happens because of how our brains are wired and how we process emotions.
Here’s the breakdown:
Brain Wiring and the Default Mode Network:
The Default Mode Network (DMN) in our brain helps with self-reflection and emotional control.
For those with RSD, this network can become overactive when dealing with rejection. This means our brains might amplify emotional responses, making rejection feel much more intense and hard to shake off.
Executive Functioning and Emotional Dysregulation:
Executive functioning includes skills like emotional control, which help us manage thoughts and emotions. In ADHD, these skills can be impaired, leading to emotional dysregulation, where even minor criticisms trigger overwhelming and prolonged reactions.
Heightened Sensitivities:
Neurodivergent individuals, including Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP), experience heightened sensitivity to sensory, physical, and emotional inputs. Our brains can be less effective at filtering out irrelevant stimuli, so rejection or criticism feels more intense and immediate.
How RSD shows up and how it’s different from ‘typical’ reactions
While most people can feel low after experiencing rejection, RSD takes this reaction to a much higher level. An intense reaction can happen internally and externally which can be triggered even by perceived rejection, for example, someone making a comment or not replying to a message.
Here’s some further explanation:
Intensity and Physical Symptoms:
For someone with RSD, the emotional response to rejection can be overwhelming and may include physical symptoms like headaches, stomach-aches, or even panic attacks. This intensity goes beyond normal emotional discomfort and affects both mind and body.
Emotional Dysregulation and Flooding:
People with RSD often experience emotional dysregulation, where their ability to manage emotions is impaired. This can lead to emotional flooding, where even minor criticisms provoke extreme feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety that are hard to control.
Rumination and Perfectionism:
RSD can cause individuals to ruminate, replaying experiences repeatedly. This overthinking amplifies the emotional impact and can lead to perfectionism and people-pleasing behaviours as a way to avoid future rejection. The constant need to meet high standards and seek approval often stems from the fear of judgment and failure.
Imposter Syndrome and Boundaries:
RSD can also contribute to imposter syndrome, where individuals feel unworthy of their achievements and fear being exposed as frauds. Alongside this, difficulties with setting and maintaining boundaries can arise. The intense fear of rejection may lead people to overextend themselves to please others or avoid conflict, impacting not only their relationships but also causing burnout.
Impact on Self-Esteem and Emotional Well-being:
The cycle of RSD can lead to low self-esteem and persistent feelings of shame and self-doubt. Many people with ADHD mask their condition to avoid judgment, which can perpetuate a sense of being unworthy or not good enough. This can create a lifetime of self-criticism, reinforcing patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism.
RSD and Being a Business Owner
Running a business is challenging for anyone, but when you have RSD, those challenges can feel magnified. As a business owner, you're constantly exposed to situations that can trigger RSD, let’s dive into some of those and see how we can work through them.
Client Feedback and Criticism
Client feedback can be tough for business owners with RSD, as even constructive criticism may feel deeply personal, leading to intense emotional reactions. This can result in dwelling on negative feedback, which might cause avoidance of future client interactions or rushed decisions that could harm the business.
Suggestion: Create a Feedback Buffer
Before responding to client feedback, take a step back and review it when you're calm, allowing you to approach it more objectively. Consider writing down your initial reactions privately to help separate your emotions from your business decisions, reducing the impact of RSD.
The Pressure of Selling
Selling can be stressful for those with RSD, as the fear of rejection may cause hesitation in pitching products or following up with leads, leading to missed opportunities. This avoidance can slow business growth while increasing anxiety and self-doubt.
Suggestion: Celebrate small wins
To overcome this, start by focusing on small, manageable sales tasks that build confidence gradually. Celebrating small wins can help reduce fear and encourage consistent, confident outreach.
Comparison and Social Media
Social media often triggers comparison, leading business owners with RSD to feel inadequate or fearful they're not doing enough, which can fuel self-doubt. This can make it difficult to stay focused and motivated in their own business.
Suggestion: Set your own goals
Limit your time on social media and focus on your own progress by setting specific goals for your business. This helps shift your attention away from comparisons and keeps you motivated by tracking your personal achievements.
Practical Strategies for Managing RSD
Here are some other practical strategies you can use that can help you take control of your emotional responses and manage RSD more effectively.
Self-awareness: Recognise when RSD is at play. Knowing your triggers can help you prepare and manage your reactions better.
Emotional Regulation: Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or meditation can help calm your emotions and keep them in check.
Seek Balanced Feedback: When seeking feedback, choose someone who can offer a balanced perspective. This can help you see the situation more objectively and reduce the emotional impact.
Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with more balanced perspectives. Remind yourself that one person’s opinion doesn’t define your worth.
Open Communication: Discuss your feelings with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. They can offer support and help you see things more clearly.
Set Boundaries: Protect yourself from unnecessary negativity by setting clear boundaries with others.
Seek Professional Help: A therapist, especially one familiar with ADHD, can help you develop coping strategies and address underlying issues.
Medication: In some cases, medication for ADHD can help manage RSD symptoms. Consult with your healthcare provider to explore this option.
Positive Engagement: Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Doing things you love can help balance out the negative emotions.
Conclusion: Breaking Free from the Cycle of Fear
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a powerful force, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding what RSD is, recognising how it affects you, and employing strategies to manage it, you can feel more in control and work through your emotions.
I would urge to work on what triggers you so you can be aware when something may be happening in your business. It can be extremely important to practice self-care if RSD is affecting you. Please download by self-care toolkit for ADHD business owners here.
If you would like to discuss RSD in more detail and how it’s impacting you or your business please book in a discovery call for us to chat.
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