From Burnout to Breakthrough: Pausing my Business to Prioritise Myself
Recently, I found myself needing to take some time out from my business to look after myself and prioritise my mental health. I was feeling burnt out and overwhelmed from juggling a part-time job, being a mum and running a business. It also coincided with me going through a lot with my ADHD*, including unmasking and a lot of realisations. Sadly, it led to depression.
It was time to take some time for me!
From coaching to lifestyle changes and building a supportive community, it’s a work in progress but I want to share my journey from #crappytohappy and discovering strategies that are working to benefit me, my family and my business.
I am focusing on connecting with my business, listening to my body and putting both my physical and mental health first.
I still have a long way to go BUT I want you to know that I am doing well. Really well, in fact!
Let’s rewind
I had been working a part-time job in a very over-stimulating café. Not great for someone with processing and sensory issues. In one day, I would be mum in the morning, switch to business owner for a few hours in the afternoon and then go and be a part-time barista for the evening. It left no time for me or anything/anyone else.
After a while I noticed and other people did too, that I was a shell of myself, and it took a wonderful friend who was supporting me on my health journey, to point out that my low days and unhappiness may be more.
My burnout had reached depression.
This also coincided with an Access to Work funding application which opened me up to realising how much ADHD affects me and my life. Sudden memories highlighted that I had struggled for a long while. One was realising that I’ve had an eating disorder most of my life.
These realisations, along with the overload of trying to survive life, got too much and at that point in time I had a breakdown to my husband and knew things needed to change.
Break the stigma
Firstly, I spoke to my doctor. I know this isn’t always helpful for everyone, but luckily, I got a lovely female doctor who listened, supported me and talked to me properly! I want to emphasise that there's no shame in seeking medical help. In fact, anti-depressants have helped balance my mind which in turn helps me manage my ADHD symptoms. It's important to have open conversations with your healthcare provider and find the right solution for you without feeling any judgement or shame.
Taking breaks and prioritising health
The next big part for me, which I also understand isn’t always possible for everyone, is that I left my part-time job. It did affect us financially but I realised how unhappy it was making me, so I took the leap and left.
I then took a break.
I cancelled plans, spoke with my clients to reduce my work, came off social media, found support where I could with childcare and took time to rest. I've been fortunate to work with understanding clients who value the importance of a healthy and fulfilled service provider. Remember, filling up your own cup allows you to pour your best self into your work.
I made sure I slept and took naps when I needed to, I was lucky to have a partner I could turn to and ask him to support me in doing more with the kids or around the house.
While I took time to rest, I felt that I was able to start working my way back to health and living.
I joined a healthy living programme called the Reset which was run by my friend who had helped me figure out how much I was struggling to start with. It was with the help of Bryony and Maddie, the two coaches who ran the programme that I was able to work out what ‘being healthy’ truly meant to me. With their guidance and support and from others on the programme, I started to implement small, healthy habits that had a significant impact on my life.
I’ve taken more time to enjoy being outdoors, surrounded by nature and animals which has given me a huge sense of connection. I am embracing my spirituality and therefore, not only has it made me feel connected to myself but also our beautiful planet. I absolutely love taking a moment to go outside, breathe and feel my feet on the ground and doing dance workouts in my lounge with my kids!
Shifting mindset and reflecting
Another essential aspect of my journey has been working on my mindset. I journalled a lot! I started to meditate again; something I used to love but didn’t have time for. I now make time for it. I connected with myself spiritually and I am part of an amazing community via Stars by Stevie.
Stevie has helped me identify what’s been holding me back and what blocks I need to work on to move forward. She also helped me to reconnect with my positive mindset, but also to be ok with other emotions I was experiencing, to embrace them and not fear them. Through affirmations, reflection and tapping into my intuition, I've learned to listen to my body and mind, allowing me to make decisions that serve my well-being.
“Find your ‘thing’ and put aside time to immerse yourself in it, escape the everyday and recharge.”
Working with Coaches
There’s a saying that ‘it takes a village’ and it absolutely does. I called upon my coaches and had been fortunate to get Access to Work funding for an ADHD coach. I started working with Victoria Tretis who specialises in coaching business owners who are neurodivergent and we started to explore what it meant to accept ADHD in my life and business.
I have also been part of the Life-Friendly Business community hosted by Erin for a couple of years now and it has helped me by working on what it truly means to have a ‘life-friendly business’. Yes, it was establishing what that looks like with two young children, but also for me, someone with ADHD, whose brain functions differently from others and also realising my energy does too.
I invested at the end of last year in Erin’s IMPACT mastermind series which takes place throughout the year and covers various topics in your business. It is a great way to build a deeper connection with others and also build those incredible foundations for my business. It has shown me that investing my time, CEO time in my business will open up so many more opportunities.
Financial worries and seeking support
Let's talk finances for a moment. When you're self-employed, it's natural to worry about making money. I totally understand that it’s especially tough if you don’t have the support of a partner or family. However, it's crucial to remember that prioritising your mental health and seeking support should be your top priority. Without it, you don’t function and if you don’t function, neither does your business.
Real talk here: money was causing myself and my family a lot of stress. It was taking time to get clients and build a steady income so when I talked about leaving my secure part-time job of course it seemed a backwards decision to make. BUT, it wasn’t a rash one. We weighed up our options and figured out a plan to survive, literally just survive and we were able to make it work. We are still feeling the effects of my time away and leaving my part-time job but me being happy and healthy has far outweighed that and since then many more opportunities have come my way.
Don't hesitate to explore help from the government through Universal Credit or support from mental health charities, such as Mind or Steps 2 Well-Being. There's no shame in asking for help or support when needed. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
Creating boundaries and overcoming overwhelm
One boundary I knew I needed to change was being present. I realised switching roles throughout my day, especially as someone who has ADHD, made my brain go in to melt down! So now, I make sure when I’m off with my kids, I’m purely with them. When I’m working, I make sure that it’s focused time, just for work. I understand that this isn’t always possible (I still have childcare issues now!) but as someone with ADHD, not having to wear multiple hats at once is really helpful.
We live in a hyper-connected world, where notifications and messages can become overwhelming. It's okay to turn off notifications on your phone or computer. You're not being rude, you're prioritising your mental well-being. If it makes you feel more comfortable, let other people know. I put it in my out-of-office, I messaged friends and I put on social media that I was taking a break.
If possible, delegate tasks or automate processes to lighten your load. However, if you can't delegate, don't worry. The world won’t implode if you need to take a break. It will all be there when you get back. Take things one step at a time, breaking down projects into manageable tasks. You don't have to do everything at once. Rome wasn't built in a day, right?
Building a supportive community
The biggest thing you will take from this is how I was surrounded by community. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of alone time, but it was with the right communities that I got the right help. Surrounding yourself with a positive and supportive community is vital, particularly as a solo entrepreneur. Find your tribe, those who understand your journey and uplift you.
I started sharing my journey on my personal Instragram with #crappytohappy to encourage others to be open and vulnerable about their mental health experiences. You can also follow my business journey on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn.
You are never alone!
So, to recap:
Learn your signs or triggers for burn-out or depression
Talk to a professional and don’t be afraid to seek medical advice
Take a break and rest
Reconnect with yourself and what you truly love in life that makes you happy
Get professional support either through therapy or coaches to help guide you
Seek support for finances should you need them
Set boundaries and practice them!
Connect with others that bring you joy, find your tribe or community who never judge you and accept you just as you are
If you’d like to chat more about how I can support you to reconnect with your business, please book a call with me here.
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For mental health support please contact:
Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Mind on 0208 215 2243 or their website of urgent help
*What is ADHD?
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects both children and adults. Common symptoms include difficulties with attention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. These traits, often perceived as obstacles, can also be harnessed as strengths when channelled effectively.
This blog has been written with the help of Jenny from JP Content & Copy.
